The Death of Common Sense

An obituary sent to me by a friend that requires no further comment:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

  • Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
  • Why the early bird gets the worm;
  • Life isn’t always fair; and
  • Maybe it WAS my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place:

  • Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
  • Teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
  • A teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sunscreen or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death

  • by his parents, Truth and Trust;
  • by his wife, Discretion;
  • by his daughter, Responsibility and
  • by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:

  • I Know My Rights
  • I Want It Now
  • Someone Else Is To Blame
  • I am a Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone…

1 thought on “The Death of Common Sense

  1. I am posting to this comment only for one reason – I agree that common sense is lacking and I agree with the post – but the part about the steaming cup of coffee bothered me. Here is why – the coffee was more then steaming, and when it spilled, it burned the woman significantly. She even had to have some reconstructive surgery done so that she could properly go to the bathroom. She went to the resturant chain and asked for help with the medical bills because the coffee was so much hotter then it was supposed to be and they refused to assist. She contacted an attorney and from there the media took it. It was her fault that she spilled the coffee, but it was not her fault that the coffee was so hot it caused that much damage.

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